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DO CARIBBEAN MEN KNOW HOW TO BE FAITHFUL?

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Forum Discription: General discussions of any topic that does not fit into other forums.
URL: http://www.caribbeanchoice.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=129
Printed Date: 25 Aug 2019 at 2:44pm


Topic: DO CARIBBEAN MEN KNOW HOW TO BE FAITHFUL?
Posted By: SpicyLean
Subject: DO CARIBBEAN MEN KNOW HOW TO BE FAITHFUL?
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 3:39am

DO CARIBBEAN MEN KNOW HOW TO BE FAITHFUL OR HONEST? 
DON'T GET ME WRONG I STILL LOVE YOU ALL, BUT CAN SOMEONE ANSWER MY QUESTION. I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW.

 



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Passion,dancing and music conn



Replies:
Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 3:48am

Good question.  I am sure there are plenty of faithful men out there, but the ones who do lie and cheat have definately made a reputation for themselves.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 4:05am
You are right(Duck Sauce) because as a caribbean sister like myself I offend wonder all the time if there is any faithful ones out there?

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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: world42
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 4:06am

I was talking to some people on the internet and some poor girl was asking for advice.  Her fiance has gone down to the Caribbean but refused to give her an address where he was staying, refused to give her a phone number to each him, and told her not to expect him to call very much since "he was going to be very busy" and because "it is almost impossible to find a phone to call the U.S."

Give me a break.  It was so obvious what this guy was doing.  Maybe he even had a wife down there!

How can people be so dishonest and disrespectful?



Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 4:11am

Originally posted by world42

Give me a break.  It was so obvious what this guy was doing.  Maybe he even had a wife down there!

How can people be so dishonest and disrespectful?

Wow!   That's pretty unbelievable!

If it were my fiance, I would at least try to keep in contact and make her feel comfortable and secure.  Even if I was busy.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: world42
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 4:14am

Originally posted by SpicyLean

You are right(Duck Sauce) because as a caribbean sister like myself I offend wonder all the time if there is any faithful ones out there?

What about the Caribbean women?  I'm not sure that many of them are that faithfuil either.



Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 4:55am

World42: What about the Caribbean women?  I'm not sure that many of them are that faithfuil either.

 

Well I can only speak from the female's point of view... and yes there might be some caribbean women who are not faithful but that's 4 percent....but the majority of Caribbean men are not faithful... All I could speak about is myself and I know that I am...



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Hairy_Plotter
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 5:00am
The only times I remained faithful was when they pushed the right buttons. But even that didn't last long - but hey, maybe it's me thats screwed up.


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 5:01am

I think that the biggest problem is that most women are attracted to the wrong things in a man.

Examples:

Many women want a good lover who is passionate and knows how to please them.  Of course, there is only one way for a man to learn how to be a passionate lover who can please a woman...  and that is for the man to have slept with many women!

Many women want a strong powerful man who can take care of things and is able to get what he wants in life.  Of course, this usually means that he is also strong and powerful around the house, trying to get his way in the relationship as well.

...

Quite frankly, most women are attracted to players and jerks because they are good lovers and strong and powerful.  And then they wonder why they wind up with players and jerks!

It's kinda ironic that women are rarely attracted to a "nice guy."  He is too much of a wimp in their eyes.  Instead they will pick a powerful jerk or a passionate player over a nice guy who they consider a wimp.

I think that's why most women wind up with players and jerks.  They are actually attracted to them!  Meanwhile all the faithful men are at home without a date.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 5:06am
Hairy_Plotter.. Why did you cheat and what did you gain from cheating? I am looking for info. 

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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 5:08am

Originally posted by Hairy_Plotter

The only times I remained faithful was when they pushed the right buttons. But even that didn't last long - but hey, maybe it's me thats screwed up.

I think that we can safely say that you are in fact screwed up.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: world42
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 5:41am

Originally posted by SpicyLean

Originally posted by world42

World42: What about the Caribbean women?  I'm not sure that many of them are that faithfuil either.
Well I can only speak from the female's point of view... and yes there might be some caribbean women who are not faithful but that's 4 percent....but the majority of Caribbean men are not faithful... All I could speak about is myself and I know that I am...

I think I would have to agree with you on that, SpicyLean.



Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 5:57am
Originally posted by Duck Sauce

Many women want a good lover who is passionate and knows how to please them.  Of course, there is only one way for a man to learn how to be a passionate lover who can please a woman...  and that is for the man to have slept with many women!

Many women want a strong powerful man who can take care of things and is able to get what he wants in life.  Of course, this usually means that he is also strong and powerful around the house, trying to get his way in the relationship as well.

...

Quite frankly, most women are attracted to players and jerks because they are good lovers and strong and powerful.  And then they wonder why they wind up with players and jerks!

It's kinda ironic that women are rarely attracted to a "nice guy."  He is too much of a wimp in their eyes.  Instead they will pick a powerful jerk or a passionate player over a nice guy who they consider a wimp.

I think that's why most women wind up with players and jerks.  They are actually attracted to them!  Meanwhile all the faithful men are at home without a date.

My first question is what you consider to be as a wimp... Yeah we caribbean women...Let me change that and only speak for oneself, having a passionate, romantic, and powerful (meaning, in knowledge, ambitious, family oriented, spirtual and exciting) man or wanting one doesn't gave caribbean men the okay to be unfaithful....Yeah one wants all the things that are listed above, and at the same time a honest man; you all don't have to go through many women to know how to be a great lover.... All one have to do is talk to their partner and explose different sexual areas... You all men are probably too afraid that a woman would have to teach you how to make love instead of just how to screw...you all are afraid to let down that male ego.... Also women want a man that is confident... One wants that, but also a person who I could be his side bone instead of his back bone because when a woman is her man side bone, working together and she assisting him in coming up with ideas for their future instead of waiting for him to come up with a plan all by himself then say I am here for you when things get hard... Nah being their from the beginning is what matters... Am I wrong.  Mr. Duck Sauce...  So a man does have to sleep with many women just discuss with is partner his needs.




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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 6:22am

Originally posted by SpicyLean

My first question is what you consider to be as a wimp...

It's not what I consider a wimp, it's what women conside a wimp.  Usually a nice guy who isn't that powerful.

Originally posted by SpicyLean

Yeah we caribbean women...Let me change that and only speak for oneself, having a passionate, romantic, and powerful (meaning, in knowledge, ambitious, family oriented, spirtual and exciting) man or wanting one doesn't gave caribbean men the okay to be unfaithful....

Agreed. 

Originally posted by SpicyLean

Yeah one wants all the things that are listed above, and at the same time a honest man; you all don't have to go through many women to know how to be a great lover.... All one have to do is talk to their partner and explose different sexual areas... You all men are probably too afraid that a woman would have to teach you how to make love instead of just how to screw...you all are afraid to let down that male ego....

So a man does have to sleep with many women just discuss with is partner his needs.

True.  I agree that a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't have to sleep with a lot of women to be a good lover.  But you have to admit that an experienced man knows how to woo a woman much better than an inexperienced man.  An inexperienced man will often not get a change to even have a date much less "talk to their partner" about pleasing their partner.  An experienced man has a much better chance at getting a woman.  They know what a woman wants already.

Originally posted by SpicyLean

Also women want a man that is confident... One wants that, but also a person who I could be his side bone instead of his back bone because when a woman is her man side bone, working together and she assisting him in coming up with ideas for their future instead of waiting for him to come up with a plan all by himself then say I am here for you when things get hard... Nah being their from the beginning is what matters... Am I wrong.  Mr. Duck Sauce... 

Sounds like you are a good women.  I have met so many women who are interested in leeching off a man.  If he doesn't have money or power or confidence, then they are gone.  They are not interested in staying by his side and building something together.  Often they want something already built and want to enjoy the fruits of the man's labor. 

A man has to be strong 100% of the time, and never show weakness, otherwise they are gone.  And yet they complain about a man not being sensitive and not showing his feelings.

It's a catch 22.  if you are nice, women think you are weak.  If you are too hard, they think you are a jerk.  It is such a hard balancing act to be a man and be attractive to women.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 03 Dec 2003 at 6:51am

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

True.  I agree that a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't have to sleep with a lot of women to be a good lover.  But you have to admit that an experienced man knows how to woo a woman much better than an inexperienced man.  An inexperienced man will often not get a change to even have a date much less "talk to their partner" about pleasing their partner.  An experienced man has a much better chance at getting a woman.  They know what a woman wants already.

It's not the eperience at all... it is not having confidence in himself...Why that man gets turn down or consider a wimp..

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

Sounds like you are a good women.  I have met so many women who are interested in leeching off a man.  If he doesn't have money or power or confidence, then they are gone.  They are not interested in staying by his side and building something together.  Often they want something already built and want to enjoy the fruits of the man's labor.

Thanks...and that's true there are many woman out there who are gold diggers but there are many unfaithful who are only out for sex so some woman are out to get what they want... Yeah and two wrong don't make it right at all.  I agree with that man if he leaves her instead of cheaping... The question still reminds "Do Caribbean Men know how to be faithful." 

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

A man has to be strong 100% of the time, and never show weakness, otherwise they are gone.  And yet they complain about a man not being sensitive and not showing his feelings.

It's a catch 22.  if you are nice, women think you are weak.  If you are too hard, they think you are a jerk.  It is such a hard balancing act to be a man and be attractive to women.

Most women want a man who is in tune with his feelings and not to hard.  Men that are sensitive that's a good thing but him showing gay-ish ways is another thing.  A man who cries that's fine but a man who want to put on my underwear then that's another thing." Be faithful that all we women asked... So the answer is again "Do Caribbean Men know how to be faithful."

 



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Hairy_Plotter
Date Posted: 04 Dec 2003 at 12:07am
You can't go by what I've done. Besides, once I was there I found out I was just being toyed with. It's more like a Fantasy for men to be the prostitute anyway. More like bragging rights along with the goodies. Ya know they will get rid of us when we can't give them what they want anyway. Were just toy's. Have a heaRT. bE A SPORT.


Posted By: world42
Date Posted: 04 Dec 2003 at 9:05pm

Originally posted by SpicyLean

It's not the eperience at all... it is not having confidence in himself...Why that man gets turn down or consider a wimp..

Well, most people tend to gain confidence from experience.  And the most confident people I know are either very experienced or they are great Bull@#$%ers.  Or both.

It's the inexperienced ones who are not confident.



Posted By: Joseph
Date Posted: 06 Dec 2003 at 3:18am

SpicyLean,

    You wanted to get some viewpoints, Here is my two cents worth

The standards of any individual are defined by his environment, his associates and information that he or she acquires that is, learned behaviour. Do you realize that for the man to be unfaithful, he is being unfaithful with an unfaithful woman. I  do believe the man or the woman defines his or her standards and is not limited to any Island or borders. It should also be noted that our standards sometimes help to influence or define other people's standard  



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Joseph Miller
CaribbeanChoice.com Staff


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 06 Dec 2003 at 5:58am
Originally posted by world42

Well, most people tend to gain confidence from experience.  And the most confident people I know are either very experienced or they are great Bull@#$%ers.  Or both.

It's the inexperienced ones who are not confident.

[/QUOTE]

YOu have a point that most people gain confidence from experience but they don't have to cheat to get that confidence.  Comunicating to their partner and letting her know that his interest is not there any more it is else where, is a form of respect and most Caribbean men doesn't know how to communicate their  thoughts... Oh let me take that back,  you all do know but it is the selfishness in you all that makes it seems as though you all forget or don't even have a clue how to be "Faithful"  (But I still Love you all though...the 5% faithful ones)



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 06 Dec 2003 at 6:05am
Originally posted by Joseph

SpicyLean,

    You wanted to get some viewpoints, Here is my two cents worth

The standards of any individual are defined by his environment, his associates and information that he or she acquires that is, learned behaviour. Do you realize that for the man to be unfaithful, he is being unfaithful with an unfaithful woman. I  do believe the man or the woman defines his or her standards and is not limited to any Island or borders. It should also be noted that our standards sometimes help to influence or define other people's standard  

 

Thanks Joseph for your two cents... All two cents are welcome

I agree with some of you comments up top the first lines, but I definitely disagree with your justification that he men learned their demeanors from their women... I will agree if you say because the men see those behaviors from their fathers and they adapted them there,  then yeah' but not from their women.  I am not saying that women do not cheat, but that is a small percentage like 5% if that.  Most of the time is the men that are cheating because they don't know how to comunicate their feelings or just say to the woman we need to make some changes if it means spicing up the bedroom activities or him assisting in the chores around the house and make it apart of their sexual experience then things would get better; but some men are afraid to ask their woman to do certain sexual acts, so they prefer to go somewhere else, where they don't have respect that woman.. Anyway they do it, they are ending up not only disrespecting one woman but both.  So Mr. Joseph I disagree that men adapted their demeanors from their women, I think mainly from their fathers; and that I agree with.  I almost forgot it is not only an Island men thang, but I just wanted to narrow it down to Caribbean men but every one could give their opinions that's always welcome. 



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 06 Dec 2003 at 6:50pm

Spiceylean, I think you are exaggerating your figures a little.  I seriously doubt that 95% of Caribbean men are unfaithful.  It may be a significant number, but I doubt it's that high.

Remember, you will rarely meet a faithful one out in the clubs by himself.  He is probably with his wife instead.  And also remember that, just like the cliche, one bad apple can spoil the whole pot, a small percentage of unfaitful ones who are flagrant in their ways can taint the image of all the faithful men out there, even if the faithful men significantly outnumber them.

Maybe 95% of men in clubs, or something like that, but I doubt 95% of all Caribbean men everywhere.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 06 Dec 2003 at 7:13pm

Originally posted by SpicyLean

Originally posted by world42

Well, most people tend to gain confidence from experience.  And the most confident people I know are either very experienced or they are great Bull@#$%ers.  Or both.

It's the inexperienced ones who are not confident.

You have a point that most people gain confidence from experience but they don't have to cheat to get that confidence. 

I couldn't agree more.  You don't have to cheat to gain confidence.  I'm just saying that since women are attracted to confident men, they are attracted to those who have more experience.  Some of those who have more experience are cheaters (not all).

Because of what women are attracted to in men, it is more likely that they will NOT be attracted to a less confident yet faithful man, but would rather be attracted to a confident man who has (and will) cheat.

If you stand the two side by side, and you didn't know whether either of them would be a cheater, the woman would almost ALWAYS pick the confident man who cheats over the faithful one with little confidence.

The cheater is confident because he knows he can easily get another woman.  The faithful one is loyal but has little confidence.  That kind of man would stay with his lover instead of venturing outside because he has less confidence in getting a replacement.

If a man is really confident, either he thinks he has you exactly where he wants you, or he knows that even if he doesn't get you, he will get another woman.  And the funny thing is women are really attracted to that!

I think that many men wind up as cheaters because women unintentionally train them to be.  Women want all these qualities in a man and there is only one way to get it: have relationships with many women (not necessarily at the same time).  And as a man tastes more and more different women then eventually he says to himself "why should I limit myself to just one."

If you want a faithful man, pick a less experienced man who is a good man, communicate with him in bed, and build a wonderful relationship together.  He has been with less women and is less likely to cheat.

A man who has been with a lot of women, on the other hand, is more likely to cheat.  But women are attracted to that kind of man.  Go figure.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: world42
Date Posted: 06 Dec 2003 at 7:21pm

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

A man who has been with a lot of women, on the other hand, is more likely to cheat.  But women are attracted to that kind of man.  Go figure.

Of course women are attracted to that kind of man.  A man who has experience knows all the right buttons to push to get a women turned on, to get them to think they are in love, to make them smile, to make them laugh, etc.

An inexperienced man doesn't know how to press those buttons, so he gets passed over even if he is a better man.

Cheaters know how to press the right buttons.  Most non-cheaters don't.



Posted By: seven
Date Posted: 14 Dec 2003 at 12:05am

  I am a black american and have dated caribbean men all my life as a matter of fact I have never dated am Black American Male.

My first was a Caribbean man he cheating with everything and everybody.  woman  would approach me with the threat of violence.

My second was from antigua he cheated with everything and anyone he could.

My third was from trinidad the first time we had sex he slept with another woman that same week---he lies to me so much he can't remember his last lie--

i seem to be attracted or vice versa to Caribbean men.  

i would'nt say they all cheat-but the ones i have dated sure cheated on me.

 

 



Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 5:27am

It may seem as though most women want a well experience man, but we will prefer a honest one.  Then if he is not well rounded we have no problem teaching/showing him what he needs him to do when it comes to romance, passion, love making extra...He just has to be open to the idea.  Women prefer honesty and not be cheated on. 



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 5:39am

Seven,

Thanks for confirming this topic about Caribbean men.  It is really embarrassing  a caribbean woman to know that it is really hard to find a faithful caribbean man.  Is there any out there?  lol  Man, it is really a crying shame on you all caribbean men that you all take you all bad ways everywhere, but I still love you all.



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: world42
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 6:22am

Originally posted by SpicyLean

  Then if he is not well rounded we have no problem teaching/showing him what he needs him to do when it comes to romance, passion, love making extra...He just has to be open to the idea. 

Most women I meet don't like being teachers.  They usually want someone who already is successful, makes a lot of money, is confident, has a strong personality, etc.

I've actually has women (yes, plural) tell me to my face that they want someone experienced and don't want to teach me how to be their perfect lover, even though I am more than willing to learn.  Then they go and pick someone who is more experienced at suducing them or who can buy them things and leave me in the dust.

How am I to learn if noone will teach me?

And is this all that women want?



Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 6:26am
Originally posted by SpicyLean

Women prefer honesty and not be cheated on. 

I think everyone wants that.  I know I just want my women to be honest and open with me.



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 6:42am
We haven't actually heard from any Caribbean men on this topic, have we?

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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 2:50pm

World 42: "They usually want someone who already is successful, makes a lot of money, is confident, has a strong personality, etc."

Well you are very right on this comment, we women do want all of the about things that are mention but not a cheater.  YOu could be very much faithful and don't have to cheat, plus all of the attributes that you mention in your above comment. That's not hard at all.  We (Women) Do It All The Time.



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 2:52pm
Women are very much open... It is most men that are afraid to share their inner emotions and thoughts.

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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 17 Dec 2003 at 2:55pm

They are afraid (Caribbean Men) to defend their actions.  All they do is hide and seek instead of being honest.    We want to know where are the faithful Caribbean men gone.



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: sexylean
Date Posted: 18 Dec 2003 at 3:30pm
i think that some caribbean man know how to be faithful  


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 18 Dec 2003 at 8:07pm

Originally posted by sexylean

i think they do  

You think they do what?



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: Cremeµx
Date Posted: 20 Dec 2003 at 4:39pm

 

     do caribbean men know how to be faithful speaking as a caribbean man i will say yea .Caribbean men are only unfaithful when they dont meet the right person.Most caribbean men r not faithful cause they get mix up with the wrong woman to be faithful u take the time out to know her inside out and only a few caribbean men do that so from one caribbean man to the rest out there who reading this hell yea caribbean men know how to be faithful.

                                caribbean man to the bone



Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 20 Dec 2003 at 5:10pm

Cremeµx: "Most caribbean men r not faithful cause they get mix up with the wrong woman "

When you say "wrong woman" what you mean.   Have you ever cheated on any woman you have been in a relationship with?



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Marina Tham
Date Posted: 21 Dec 2003 at 9:45am

Cremeµx: "Most caribbean men r not faithful cause they get mix up with the wrong woman "

Now, I'm no caribbean man nor caribbean woman. A matter of fact I'm Asian. From an Asian woman's point of view, I would like to know what do you mean here of "Wrong Woman"? Well this phrase also sounds quite familiar here among Asian Men too. I think men are men, no matter where there are (mostly unfaithful creatures).

There are good ones too but just a minority fraction of the entire lot.

To me, I am happily married and hope to be for a long long time to come.

I think cheating comes in when a person feels that they still want to explore to find something better, something different maybe! A person that cheats is a person that is not contented, a person that is still a child deep down inside.  Take a short moment in silence and think ... Think truely or you'll be cheating to yourself too... Are you contented with your partner? If you are not, what are the qualities that you dislike? Think again from your partner's point of view. Do you think she/he is contented with you then?



Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 22 Dec 2003 at 2:43am

 Marina Tham: "I think cheating comes in when a person feels that they still want to explore to find something better, something different maybe! A person that cheats is a person that is not contented, a person that is still a child deep down inside.  Take a short moment in silence and think ... Think truely or you'll be cheating to yourself too... Are you contented with your partner? If you are not, what are the qualities that you dislike? Think again from your partner's point of view. Do you think she/he is contented with you then?"

Thank you very much for your comment.  I could not even put it better than the way you just did.  I agree with you 100%. Thanks again.



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Deelady
Date Posted: 06 Jan 2004 at 3:11pm

This was posted on another sight with a similar topic and I thought this person made a good point....

"men cheat because it is a nature that is inherent in every man to do so. unless a man subscribes to a higher calling they can't just help themselves. that is why you'd find a man married to a very beautiful woman that does "all" and still play randy-shandy; then he'll come home and cry his eyes out when he's caught. it's more than wanting to try out things, but if that is the case why don't you spice things up by teaching your wife what it is you want whether it is karma sutra, back-flip, butterfly, dragon-style and all what not abi? there is a lot of material out there (books, videos) than can help even the most uninformed. whatever you want your wife to do tell her and don't for one day imagine that she would find it strange. that's what every sensible wife wants to do - to make every wish her husband's desire. but after all this, it is only a willingness to obey God that'll make you not to try elsewhere and nothing else. "

As well as this person....

"men cheat for different reasons none of which are right.But sistas need to stop pin pointing cheating on one sex cuz us ladies can be jus as bad. so maybe the question should be why do people cheat? maybe because they get bored easily, or cant stand havin the same craker everyday and desire sumthin different.but if so why hurt the person your with by making them belive thier all you desire and do them a favor by letting them go.You can then go on to find what your partner could not provide without all them cursing and hurt that cheating brings.Need more answers read eric jeromes ****eys 'between lovers' then you'll understand what cheating results to. "



Posted By: Deelady
Date Posted: 06 Jan 2004 at 3:15pm

and this....

"men are turned on by what they see (they are sexual beings) while for women, we are sensual beings (turned on by what we hear, smell, feel etc). there are basic differences between men and women so we have to know this to get the best out of our relationships with the oposite sex. communication is vital and the life-line of any relationship so be more open."



Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 02 May 2004 at 12:25pm

Deelady you are correct with your comment, but it still does not give them the right not to be faithful.

Men are any of you all know what it takes to be faithful?

 



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: WisTex
Date Posted: 02 May 2004 at 7:26pm
I have met a lot of women AND men to cheat.  I have also met a lot that are faithful too.  It all comes down to whether or not you are going to honor your word, and be faithful or not.

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http://www.wistex.com - WisTex


Posted By: MERSGURL340
Date Posted: 30 June 2004 at 8:24am

MY HUSBAND IS FROM ST. CROIX (USVI) HE IS RESPECTABLE AND A VERY LOVING MAN. HOWEVER HIS BROTHER IS A DIFFERENT STORY. HE CAME TO THE STATE (ATLANTA) AND HIS WHOLE MENTALITY CHANGED. HE HAS A LIVE IN GIRL FROM THE ISLANDS WITH WHOM HE HAS A CHILD WITH. HE OFTEN TRAVELS BACK TO THE ISLANDS TO SEE HIS OTHER GIRLWHO LIVES ON ST. THOMAS. HE EVEN GOT CAUGHT ON XMAS DAY WITH THE OTHER GIRL. I CANNOT SPEAK ON BEHALF OF ANY OTHER CULTURES BUT MEN FROM THE V.I. I GUESS I AM LUCKY TO HAVE FIND HIM. BUT I ASSUME ITS NOT JUST MEN OF THOSE CULTURES WHO CHEAT THE WOMEN DO TOO!



Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 09 July 2004 at 6:44pm

One thing is for sure, there seems to be a reputation among Caribbean men as being lady's men.  To get so many women, they must know how to please them.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: MERSGURL340
Date Posted: 09 July 2004 at 8:23pm
I am a lilttle ditsy when it comes to certain things like are you guys talking about Caribbean men as a whole or the men from what island they are from? I have heard no complaints about the men from the VI (not to brag or anything cause I have one)


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 10 July 2004 at 4:45am

I don't know.  I've just heard it as a reputation.  Reputations are often wrong, innaccurate, partially correct, or sometimes outdated.  Sometimes they are true.

I'm just curious if there is any truth to it.

There are always exceptions to every rule.  But there must be some truth to it (at least a percentage of them are) if people seem to keep mentioning this.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: gypsygrl
Date Posted: 13 July 2004 at 4:07am

ok so to start this post isnt meant to offend anybody.  im not trying to feed any stereotypes im just trying to find out what the hell is going on with this guy.  i recently got involved with a much older man from the caribbean (st lucia) and i saw this post and had to say something...rather ask questions.

im 24, white female, just graduated college and met him, 35 at a local bar.  we had a wild sex romp and after a little while he invited me over to give me a birthday gift..it was then that i found out he had a lady.  not only that but they came to the u.s. together.. my guess is that theyve been involved a very long time. 

i havent seen her yet but he talks trash about her like he doesnt even care...she goes to college and from the looks of the situation she deserves better..(honestly i think i do too but thats another story).  everytime we hang out we talk and joke like old friends..hes funny, got plenty of charisma, smart, and most importantly he sings mr marley to me.  i GRILL him about his girlfriend to try and keep him from calling me.. i figure if bug him enough hell feel guilty about it...NEVER happens.  each time he has a different excuse for why hes still with her.  "its complicated" he says.  is this a normal thing?  i mean a friend of his that i talked to says that she cheats too and they just dont discuss it.  whats up ladies.. is this a lost cause.. should i leave him be..tell his girl (dont really want to do that)..should i even hold out hope that we could one day be a couple.. or this is a total waste of my time?

 



Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 26 Sept 2004 at 7:35pm

Well in my opinion I think that you should leave that alone and call it a done deal.. take it from me.. I have been there, but the only thing is that I didn't know, until I called the house and she picked up.  I was dating him for like a year and I use to be over there alot but there was nothing to indicate that he had a woman..He is not going to leave her, even if you tell her.. unless she doesn't want him, then that's the only way he is going to be with you and that's if he commits to you. Girl move on, you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you.  Your life hasn't began yet.. It is your choice if you tell her or not. All I would say is that if you are in her shoes would you want someone to call and tell you that your man is cheating. Well I would but then you might think otherwise.



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: caribchakita
Date Posted: 20 Oct 2004 at 7:47am
YES..both of mine were..


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 25 Oct 2004 at 10:06pm
Come to think of it, the question itself doesn't make sense.  Of course they KNOW how to be faithful.  But do they actually do it, that is the question.

To me, there are two kind of people who cheat:
  1. Players.  These people habitually and knowingly cheat without remorse.  They will try to keep as many woman as they can manage with them as long as possible.
  2. The Hurt.  These people have been in a relationship and their partner does not fulfill on their needs and they are generally unhappy.  Eventually they will go elsewhere to find the love and attention that they are missing in their primary relationship.  Usually, eventually, these people leave for another partner.
If you are involved with a player, then what you need to do is walk away... unless you like being played (and maybe like to be able to play yourself).  They have no interest in being faithful.

On the other hand, if your spouse or girl/boyfriend is cheating and they are not a player, it may be that you aren't fulfilling their needs.  If you don't change your ways, you will be left alone when they decide to hook up with a better man or woman.

Now, the question really should be: Are most Caribbean men players?


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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: bim-yankee
Date Posted: 20 Dec 2004 at 6:04pm

I don't believe I have met any, including my father, my brothers... Oh wait my uncle is faithful to his wife, so yes there are faithful west indians out there, do not lose faith!! But they are far and few between. But in all honesty everyone has someone they cheated on in some way, fashion,or form. So I guess its all relative.



Posted By: belizean039
Date Posted: 31 Jan 2005 at 6:49pm
I think that all caribbean men are faithful...............when they are sleeping!


Posted By: Destinee
Date Posted: 01 Feb 2005 at 11:32am

I am recently married to a Belizean man and yes he has had problems with infidelity. But i firmly believe that it has alot to do with the upbringing and the examples set before them. For some reason I have noticed that the men in his family believe that they are gods gift to women and he believed that at 1 time also(until I came around). If ya wanna kno if ya man gonna be faithful take a look at his family if they aren't any good(unfaithful) then generally they aren't any good. But thats just my opinion.



Posted By: Destinee
Date Posted: 01 Feb 2005 at 11:40am
Originally posted by belizean039

I think that all caribbean men are faithful...............when they are sleeping!
LMAO But even then they are probably dreaming about cheating....


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 01 Feb 2005 at 1:33pm
I'm gonna approach this from my personal point of view....without divulging much of my business I hope....
I think cheating, like many other evils out there, (and its not only for caribbean men, btw)  prevails because its easy to do it...so much so, it takes little or nothing to be unfaithful: a wink, a flirty smile, a daring touch...even arousing thoughts. There are no physical chains or laws that can stop us from taking that initial step.
You guys have all made some valid points on this topic. I can only reiterate that the answer is within each of us. What we value most in ourselves can make the difference. For me, my honor (dignity/my word) is all I have left when u strip me of my principles and values, errors and opinions and there is no way I'm gonna compromise what has taken me a life-time to build, just because I can.
Mind u, I'm not a saintish little critter either u know, because I do allow myself some relaxation now and again. Only not at the expense of others nor my well-guarded 'reputation'.


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 04 Feb 2005 at 8:43am

Originally posted by Destinee

Originally posted by belizean039

I think that all caribbean men are faithful...............when they are sleeping!

LMAO But even then they are probably dreaming about cheating....

This is funny and I agree with both of you all.



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 14 Feb 2005 at 12:11am

Originally posted by ilam96

I think cheating, like many other evils out there, (and its not only for caribbean men, btw)  prevails because its easy to do it...so much so, it takes little or nothing to be unfaithful: a wink, a flirty smile, a daring touch...even arousing thoughts. There are no physical chains or laws that can stop us from taking that initial step.

Of course, this begs an interesting question. What exactly IS considered cheating? A wink, a look, spending time with someone without having sex, a touch, loving someone else, sex?

Personally, I think that if you expect your man to not look at another woman and get aroused, you are expecting your man to not be human. If looking at another woman and admiring is considered cheating, then I would have to suggest that all men cheat. Actually all people, men and women. It has something to do with hormones and the instinct to reproduce. And most women I know also tend to look as well, they just tend to be more sneaky about it. I have observed women talk about men when they forgot that a man was close enough to hear. I was actually shocked at what came out of the mouths of some women that pretended to be all innocent around men. They can be more dirty minded and graphic than men!

Personally, my policy is look but don't touch. And, if my woman gets turned on by another man, I don't have a problem as long as she comes home and releases her sexuality on me instead of him. Of course, I'm a bit more open minded than most, but I'm also not so insecure in myself that I have to be jealous about her looking at some other man. I figure its natural for us to get aroused by the opposite sex, so why pretend it doesn't happen. I mean, how many women are "in love with" (insert movie star name here). Its part of biology and nature to be aroused by the opposite sex. If it didn't happen, we would have died off as a species a long time ago.

Of course, if you promised to be faithful (which is part of most marriage ceremonies), then you should honor that promise. And that is what cheating actually is, breaking a promise (spoken or unspoken).

So, back to the question, what do you consider cheating?



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 14 Feb 2005 at 12:38am

Okay, I added a poll on what you consider cheating.  You can find it here:

http://www.caribbeanchoice.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=75416&PN=1 - http://www.caribbeanchoice.com/forums/forum_posts.asp?TID=75 416&PN=1



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 14 Feb 2005 at 2:35pm
Originally posted by Scott

Of course, if you promised to be faithful (which is part of most marriage ceremonies), then you should honor that promise. And that is what cheating actually is, breaking a promise (spoken or unspoken).


But lets not drop this one either...technically, all the forms listed on the poll can be called cheating...simply because I believe it is the intention behind the action that makes it so. I mean, I can hug and kiss a male friend...get aroused by it even, but if my (or his) intentions are not to take it any further, then it dies a natural death. Don't you think?


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 15 Feb 2005 at 10:03am

Interesting point.  But the means it is very hard to tell the difference.  I mean, an innocent hug can be easily mistaken for something not so innocent.  Also, there are cultural differences.  For example, in many parts of Mexico, you kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting and it has no romantic significance in their culture whatsoever.  And some people and families are huggers, and hug all their close friends (male and female) without it meaning anything sexual or romantic, which could easily be mistaken for something that it is not.



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: Moves
Date Posted: 15 Feb 2005 at 11:22am

Hello,

Everyone is an individual - you cannot put everyone in the same boat.  Yes I do believe that it all depends on the relationship between two people.  I have lived in Jamaica for over a year and I cant say that Everyman was playing about.  I think you know yourself whether your man is faithfull to you if you really think about it.

Best wishes

Valerie

http://www.movesnegril.com - www.movesnegril.com    Your affordable Caribbean vacation



Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 18 Feb 2005 at 1:18pm

Originally posted by Scott

But the means it is very hard to tell the difference.  I mean, an innocent hug can be easily mistaken for something not so innocent.

Forget "interpretation" bro.....I'm talking INTENTION, before or after or even during (an act) there's no way of mistaking that - well maybe, slightly, very small margin of error tho

I mean, a person has got to be really dense in order for him/her not to notice when and IF someone's coming on to you



Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 19 Feb 2005 at 6:47pm

Well, I guess then you will mistake me hugging my female friends and relatives as coming on to them.

I agree some things are just plain obvious, but my point is that there are some people who are so sensitive that they think everything is cheating, even when it is not.  I remember one incident where a woman got so upset about her husband hugging another woman, that she slapped her man in public.  Later she found out that the person he was hugging was his cousin.  Another situation comes to mind where a woman paid thousands of dollars to hire a private investigator to catch her husband cheating only to find out that he really is at work working late.  I have a friend of mine who's husband is so jealous and insecure that she isn't allowed to work somewhere more than 6 months because he is afraid she is sleeping with someone.  After about 6 months, he always makes her quit and accuses her of sleeping with someone, even though she is not.  Supposedly I even slept with her, which I know for a FACT isn't true.

Some people are so insecure and jealous they see every innocent act as cheating when its not.  And I have seen a lot of people misinterpret other people's intentions and actions.  I see it all the time, especially when there is little communication.

Like I said before, some things are obvious, but other than those things, it is almost impossible to know what someone's intentions are... unless you can read their minds.



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 22 Feb 2005 at 8:52am

Originally posted by Scott

Well, I guess then you will mistake me hugging my female friends and relatives as coming on to them.

Honey, when it comes to my man, I will know most (if not all) of his relatives - those that matter anyway.

I agree some things are just plain obvious, but my point is that there are some people who are so sensitive that they think everything is cheating, even when it is not.
 

I must agree that there are extremes, then there are EXTREMES...but everything else in between should - notice i said should - fall within the norms and within those norms, there is reasonably acceptable behaviour; a few of which you have so graciously identified in the poll you started  

I remember one incident where a woman got so upset about her husband hugging another woman, that she slapped her man in public. Later she found out that the person he was hugging was his cousin.

Again, we're dealing with EXTREMES...

Another situation comes to mind where a woman paid thousands of dollars to hire a private investigator to catch her husband cheating only to find out that he really is at work working late.

Good for her!!!!

I have a friend of mine who's husband is so jealous and insecure that she isn't allowed to work somewhere more than 6 months because he is afraid she is sleeping with someone.  After about 6 months, he always makes her quit and accuses her of sleeping with someone, even though she is not.

More extremes, but with a wikid twist...(and this is not it) when it pertains to insecurity and jealousy they are on a realm of their own and would require I believe a whole forum for them alone  

Supposedly I even slept with her, which I know for a FACT isn't true.

Ok then ........

Some people are so insecure and jealous they see every innocent act as cheating when its not.  And I have seen a lot of people misinterpret other people's intentions and actions.  I see it all the time, especially when there is little communication.

The interesting part is the communication part...now that is the fertilizer in any relationship. Love is the sun and respect is water...without either one, like a living thing, a relationship will not survive.

Like I said before, some things are obvious, but other than those things, it is almost impossible to know what someone's intentions are... unless you can read their minds.

And here is where the communication part comes into play, to help you to get to know your partner so well, that its like you learn to read their minds as well, hehe



Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 23 Feb 2005 at 11:14pm

Unfortunately there are more extremes in the world that you realize.

But I agree totally that the more you get to know someone, the better.  Communication is key.  If you know someone well, you can usually tell something is off.  But the biggest danger is making assumptions.  I have seen so many people make assumptions that were totally wrong and I have made assumptions that were totally wrong before.  I'm just saying, before you assume someone is cheating, get the facts.  Talk is cheap.  Assumptions are abundant.  It's easy to misinterpret things.

And always remember, when you assume, you make a donkey* out of you and me (*kid-friendly version).  (I so wish I could say the real quote, but since this is a family friendly website... adults should be able to figure it out by looking at the word assume.)



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: Leones
Date Posted: 07 July 2005 at 1:36am
Ladies I have news for you. I wouldn't venture to say most, but a lot of guys are not faithful, especially young guys. These men are not faithful because of one thing, and that one thing is testosterone. You ladies have no idea how powerful a force testosterone is. This forum is about Carribean men, but carribean men are no worse than American men, or Asian men, or African Men, or men 50 years ago or men throughout history, or men 50 years from now. The desire to be with women sexually has driven men to be unfaithful for as long as we human beings have been around. It is a characteristic that is present among men despite culture, race, geographical location or any other group you want to name (except age as circulating levels of teststerone decline as you get older which coincidently coincides with most men's willingness and desire to marry settle down and have a family). Women are always complaining that they can't find a "good man" because most women are not into being with a lot of different men. Most women just want one man who will treat them right and take care of them who they vibe with sexually. Men don't think that way. Sure men want a woman to treat them right and take care of the them, someone they can love and that sort of thing, but the drive to be with her sexually is always present and in the front of his mind. And men are very rational and straight forward creatures. In a man's mind if one woman is good then two women are twice as good, especially in matters of sex. Some of you out there may be angered by my comments or find them sexist or outdated but what I am saying is undoubtedly true. I'm not going to sit here and say that men's behaviors are not also due to our environement and social constraints as well but the majority of our behavior is innate.     


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 28 July 2005 at 6:15pm

I'm not sure if men and women were meant to be sexually monagamous.  Too many people cheating, divorcing, sleeping around, etc.  I think that emotionally we may latch onto one person whom we love, but love has nothing to do with sex.  I think that it is an unrealizstic expectation that your partner be faithful, and it is unnatural.  After all, all men and women who are not supressed, look at other men and women, even if they restrain themselves from taking action.

I think God created sex as a biological function that humans are programmed to do.  We are automatically attracted to fertile members of the opposite sex, in addition to be attracted to someone we are in love with.  I think if God didn't make it that way, we would have dies out a long time ago.  I mean, think about it.  If we didn't have the hormones and built in desire to have sex, would we?  Probably not as much as we do now.  After all, there is the kids, the commitment, the risk of disease, the awkwardness of initiating sex for someone new at it.  We'd be doomed as a species if we didn't automatically feel attraction for members of the opposite sex who are fertile.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2005 at 6:53pm
Originally posted by Duck Sauce

I think if God didn't make it that way

do you really think God would make it that way after giving us free will?????



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"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 03 Aug 2005 at 8:59pm
Originally posted by ilam96

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

I think if God didn't make it that way

do you really think God would make it that way after giving us free will?????

Actually, it is because of free will that He also had to put in the natural sexual desire to reproduce.  We still have free will, just our instincts make us more interested in reproducing than we would otherwise be.

I'm not saying that the natural desire to reproduce (i.e. have sex) overrides free will, I'm just saying that without it we probably wouldn't do it at all.  Especially in this day and age with divorce, custody battles, child support, paying for the kids college, diapers, fights with the wife, fights with the ex, fights with the mother-in-law, sexually transmitted diseases, the cold shoulder, "I have a headache," etc.

It's no wonder more and more young people are NOT getting married anymore.  They may live together, but less and less are tying the knot and getting married.  This upcoming generation has seen how ugly marriage can be (50% of all marriages end in divorce, and usually a nasty one at that), so they are simply not getting married.

Of course, one interesting side effect of people not getting married is that the divorce rate of those who do is going down.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 05 Aug 2005 at 11:31am

it wasn't what i was getting at, but you are right, tho i wouldn't say 'reproduce'...its more like copulating...after all reproduction bring forth all the "divorce, custody battles, child support, paying for the kids college, diapers, fights with the wife, fights with the ex, fights with the mother-in-law, sexually transmitted diseases, the cold shoulder, "I have a headache," etc."

whereas copulation just brings forth sexual gratification/satisfaction....but still, what i was getting at, is that it couldn't be God that made it that way, when he already gave us free will...even without attraction to the opposite sex, man was still made to reproduce...



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"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 06 Aug 2005 at 5:00pm

Originally posted by ilam96

it wasn't what i was getting at,

I'm not sure I understand what you meant then.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 6:51am

Originally posted by belizean039

I think that all caribbean men are faithful...............when they are sleeping!

 

LOLO that's a good one.. tru dat



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 6:54am
Originally posted by Destinee

I am recently married to a Belizean man and yes he has had problems with infidelity. But i firmly believe that it has alot to do with the upbringing and the examples set before them. For some reason I have noticed that the men in his family believe that they are gods gift to women and he believed that at 1 time also(until I came around). If ya wanna kno if ya man gonna be faithful take a look at his family if they aren't any good(unfaithful) then generally they aren't any good. But thats just my opinion.

Tru tru dat.. Look at where the apple came from. Like the old saying goes "Apples don't fall to far from de tree."


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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 7:00am

Originally posted by ilam96

I can only reiterate that the answer is within each of us. What we value most in ourselves can make the difference. For me, my honor (dignity/my word) is all I have left when u strip me of my principles and values, errors and opinions and there is no way I'm gonna compromise what has taken me a life-time to build, just because I can.
Mind u, I'm not a saintish little critter either u know, because I do allow myself some relaxation now and again. Only not at the expense of others nor my well-guarded 'reputation'.

 

Well put.. I couldn't put it better than dat..



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 11:35am
Welcome back SpicyLean!  We missed you!

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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 12:09pm

indeed spiceylean, you were missed

ducksauce: your initial response, that "We are automatically attracted to fertile members of the opposite sex, in addition to be attracted to someone we are in love with.  I think if God didn't make it that way, we would have died out a long time ago"......only made me wonder a bit if was God really 'make it that way'.....das all...?



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"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."


Posted By: REDLION
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 10:04pm
i am the only faithful one that i know of.


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 10:07pm

Originally posted by ilam96

"......only made me wonder a bit if was God really 'make it that way'.....das all...?

That's an interesting question.  People have been arguing about what God intended for longer than history itself.  Who knows what God really intended?  Every religion I have been exposed to seems to have a different version of what God intended.  Kinda makes me wonder how much we really know vs. how much we make up about God and the universe.

But one thing is clear.  A lot of things we do do down here probably are not what God intended.



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 12 Aug 2005 at 10:13pm

Originally posted by REDLION

i am the only faithful one that i know of.

Well, now you know one other.  Nice to meet you!

And welcome to CaribbeanChoice!

Is it really that bad where you are?



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: REDLION
Date Posted: 13 Aug 2005 at 7:20pm

In today’s world it is not uncommon for a man to have more than one woman, it is almost accepted, which brings me another question can a person be in love with two people.



Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 13 Aug 2005 at 10:33pm
Originally posted by REDLION

In today’s world it is not uncommon for a man to have more than one woman, it is almost accepted, which brings me another question can a person be in love with two people.

I think it is rare considering how selfish most people are, but I do think it is possible.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: Caribbean_QT
Date Posted: 14 Aug 2005 at 6:17pm

Since, it was too much posts to read, I may have missed some peeps view on this topic..but this is my view...

The few Caribbean men I've been with, well lets just say they have not been faithful..The few American men I've been with, well its the same @#$% there too...So generally men will be men, no matter if they Caribbean, American, African, or Chinese...but if its one thing I can say, I sticking with my Caribbean man dem..



Posted By: ReAnn
Date Posted: 14 Aug 2005 at 7:56pm
Caribbean_QT, I agree with you. Men are men, but you know what? we can't let a few bad apples spoil the pie.

I am a Trini woman, and I am with a Trini man. If you know Trini men you will know that they like plenty woman.

My man and I have been together for almost 3 years now and I can speak confidently from my heart that he has not cheated and will not cheat on me. Now, I will be honest with you, there were times that I check up on my man, like when he went out limein. But I know God has blessed me with a good Caribbean man.

Observe your man, be true to yourself and love God more than you love your man.

I believe it's how we are raised and what we are taught as acceptable that determines how committed we become.

My advice to men and women is... Get to know the people you meet, be friends first, let the friendship, trust and respect grow before you start a sexual relationship. My man and I were friends for 7 years before we took eachother seriously relationship wise. I observed him with his girlfriends at that time. Observe

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Splendour


Posted By: Caribbean_QT
Date Posted: 14 Aug 2005 at 9:18pm

@ReAnn...I totally agree with u...many woman jump into a relationship without fully knowing the person...we (as women) fail to realize that men will always appear sweet in the beginning, so if we don't know who they really are, we can't blame them in the end for acting the way they did, especially if its in their (the man) nature to like to have a lot of women at one time...also, we as women tend to base future relationship from our past mistakes (which in itself is a good thing, cause we learn from our mistakes), however, a good man might be right under our noses and we will never notice him, because we are too caught up trying to mold an image of the "perfect man" or we might have "tightened our belt"...



Posted By: ReAnn
Date Posted: 17 Aug 2005 at 10:06pm
Caribbean_Qt,
You are right, a lot of us get caught up in trying to make our men become what we want and do what we want. When I got together with my man his sister told me that I needed to be more aggressive and less submissive, so that he would become the type of person that does what I want, and she would tell me "oh, he used to do that for his ex, did he do it for you? Now I'm not saying she was right, but I'm also not saying she was completely wrong. I believe in a relationship you have to give and take, in her words at times be submissive and others agressive. Helping to mold your man I think is OK. Notice I said helping. You can't force anything in your man's mind or else you'll be forcing them right into the arms of another woman, who will accept all the s**t he wants to put out. And believe me, it will not be hard for him to find many women like that because there's some in every race and culture.

One thing that is helping me right now is developing the mind set..."I know I am not perfect, and in the same way I know my man is not perfect, knowing that, the question I had to ask myself is, CAN I LIVE FOREVER WITH THE FLAWS THAT HE HAS, OR IS HIS FLAWS SOMETHING I PLAN ON CHANGING WITH TIME?" I am very comfortable living with the little flaws that my wabba has.

What do you think?

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Splendour


Posted By: Caribbean_QT
Date Posted: 17 Aug 2005 at 10:34pm
I totally agree


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 18 Aug 2005 at 3:37am

I agree with some of the last responses and to add to that I would say one shouldn't try to make their mate into who they want them to be, but to know what they want in a mate and look for that person who have those qualities and one wouldn't feel like they are cheating themselves out of the person they really want/need in their life and have to go and cheat.  That's why I made the thread "What's your Ideal Mate." 



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 18 Aug 2005 at 4:42am

Most of the women that I have dated or been interested in were more interested in what they thought I could be instead of who I am.  They were more interested in changing me to fit their picture of an ideal man instead of helping me to grow to become the ideal man I want to be.  A subtle but important difference.  I know I am not perfect, and I do want to become a better man.  But I also don't want to be forced to be something I am not either.  Especially since some women can be, shall we say, a bit devious about the whole thing.  In other words, they have an idea of what they want their man to be, but instead of telling him, they try to manipulate him into being what they want.  I don't know about you, but I don't like being manipulated.  And the ironic thing is if you give into their manipulation, they no longer respect you.  Its a no win situation either way.  Either you don't meet their expectations or you allow them to manipulate you and they lose respect.  Those are the kind of women I have learned to avoid.

I think that in a relationship it is important to accept and love each other for who they are now, not who you think they will be in the future.  And I think it is important to grow and develop and to support each other in that.

An ideal relationship will be one where you both know where you are now, and you both have similar goals, and them work together to achieve those goals, even if those goals are simply to make each other happy.



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 19 Aug 2005 at 1:56pm
Originally posted by REDLION

In today’s world it is not uncommon for a man to have more than one woman, it is almost accepted,

ok, let me tackle this first, i am beginning a campaign against the use of this phrase "cheating/having affairs is accepted"......acceptance implies that everone sees it as the norm....however everyone encompasses those that have been cheated on, and I for one, DO NOT and will not ever accept it as something natural. It is a personal choice, whether or not the spouse does anything to attribute the bad behaviour to, it really does boil down to an individual's right to choose.

Originally posted by REDLION

which brings me another question can a person be in love with two people.

my answer to this question is a definite NO! one can never serve two masters....it was not intended that way, otherwise we'd have two hearts and two brains, lol....no but seriously, one will always take precedence over the other, always, impartiality will never exist in a relationship as such....no way...whoever says they can, they're lying to themselves and trying to lie to us



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"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2005 at 7:27pm
@ilam96... I love your last answer and I agree with your statements to the fullest.

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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2005 at 8:49pm

Then how can you love your children all the same?  How can you love all your friends the same?  How can you love all your family the same?

If your love is not unconditional, then it isn't really love.  It's something else, such as want, lust, desire, infatuation.  And unfortunately most relationships in the world are not based on true love, they are based on desire and want.



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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2005 at 9:48pm
Originally posted by Duck Sauce

Then how can you love your children all the same?  How can you love all your friends the same?  How can you love all your family the same?

If your love is not unconditional, then it isn't really love.  It's something else, such as want, lust, desire, infatuation.  And unfortunately most relationships in the world are not based on true love, they are based on desire and want.

its different kinda love midear........not all the same...you can never compare a child to a husband, or a sister to a mother....love transcends relationships....when one stops expecting back....then you can say its the real thing, but the way this world is going....that's not happening....not in our lifetime



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"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2005 at 11:12pm
No, but if we educate enough people about what love is, then maybe in a 100 years they will start to know what love is.

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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: ilam96
Date Posted: 26 Aug 2005 at 10:27am
well they say HOPE should be the last thing to go.....das all we CAN do...unfortunately...

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"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 28 Aug 2005 at 5:27am

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

No, but if we educate enough people about what love is, then maybe in a 100 years they will start to know what love is.

 

  I agree with you and in addition if we women stop accepting cheating as normal and simple then that could help with the change process.. Lol. also we women should add to the problem by cheating too,,, just de man. LOL



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: Scott
Date Posted: 28 Aug 2005 at 11:10am

If more people knew what love is, there probably would be less cheating. 

I think I lot of people confuse desire with love.  Desire is wanting, love is giving.  There is nothing wrong with desire, it just also should be balanced with love, so it isn't all about what one wants.



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Scott M. Stolz
CaribbeanChoice.com. Inc. Staff
http://www.wistex.com/ - WisTex | http://www.completehostingguide.com/ - Complete Hosting Guide


Posted By: Duck Sauce
Date Posted: 28 Aug 2005 at 6:50pm
Or it might be like the 60's in the U.S. 

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"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski


Posted By: Honeypotluck
Date Posted: 01 Sept 2005 at 8:19am
i believe the reason caribbean men sleep around is simply because they can many many many women are dependent on male incomes in the west indies, they get away with an awful lot,and not so much with independant women but those on low or no income, its the way its always been, and if ur a man why change what suits.......Faithful, huh, pleeease, but dont give up ladies, afterall they r a long time dead,lol eternally faithfull then


Posted By: SpicyLean
Date Posted: 14 Sept 2005 at 7:53am
Originally posted by ilam96

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

Then how can you love your children all the same?  How can you love all your friends the same?  How can you love all your family the same?

If your love is not unconditional, then it isn't really love.  It's something else, such as want, lust, desire, infatuation.  And unfortunately most relationships in the world are not based on true love, they are based on desire and want.

its different kinda love midear........not all the same...you can never compare a child to a husband, or a sister to a mother....love transcends relationships....when one stops expecting back....then you can say its the real thing, but the way this world is going....that's not happening....not in our lifetime

 

I agree with you. The love is unconditional but in different form because each individuals in your life connects to you in different ways.



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Passion,dancing and music conn


Posted By: sandra
Date Posted: 21 Feb 2010 at 5:26am
Caribbean, Latin, British, American, Chinese, African, all men will be unfaithful at one time or another.

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I asked for all things so that I might enjoy life; I was given life so that I might enjoy all things



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