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Literature - Books, Poems
 CaribbeanChoice : General Discussion : Literature - Books, Poems
Message Icon Topic: Stories of the Old Country ... A good laugh Post Reply Post New Topic
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Citizen Eve
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Quote Citizen Eve Replybullet Topic: Stories of the Old Country ... A good laugh
    Posted: 10 Apr 2011 at 3:57pm

And my friend and author shares:

Dat Bugga! You pinched fowl bam bam.

by Anthony Wendell DeRiggs on Sunday, 10 April 2011 at 14:50

NEN NEN always told me not to eat too much ASHAM because ah go PUFF.  She told me that ah was too LICKRISH. Well, ah put ah BUNLOAD ah licks on the ASHAM, but thank PAPA GAWD, ah never PUFF. And the ripe FIG that COMPERE TIG told me not to eat in the hot sun was my favorite. Ah ate so many of DEM, but they never KNOCK ME DOWN as people warned. Teresita peeped through her window once and told me not to suck so many mangoes because ah go get @#$%TINGS.

 

Well. ah suck mangoes as if they put LITE on me, but ah never got @#$%TINGS. Ah even suck dem juicy mangoes that the CONGOREE bite.

MACMERE Phillip once told me ah that ah looked like AH WOODEN JUDGE IN AH RAM GOAT SESSION. Ah still don't know what that meant. And when ah woke up in the morning and a little cold sore was on me mouth, they told me that CACAROACH KISSED ME and ah resembled AH JUMBIE BEAD. They told me to wash me face and take out the KAKAJAY from me eyes and the BRIDLE from me mouth.

Then ah took ah quick quick bath under the pipe outside and they told me ah took AH GEORGE OTWAY. But yuh can't blame me.  The pipe was in the middle of the yard and ah din want dem FASS people to MACO me POLICE.

 

So ah bounced up ah TAYBAE woman.

 

She said, "WHA YUH watching me for?"

 

Ah replied, “JOOK OUT ME EYE NAH!"

 

She said I was BARRING  herand asked me,

 

"YUH FADDAH IS AH GLASS MAKER?"

 

Ah replied, "OH GORM, OOMAN.  AH TIEF YUH WHITE FOWL?"

 

She then said,

 

"MACO, DEY SEN YUH FOR ME. TELL DEM YUH EN SEE ME."

 

Ah said, “LEH ME GO ME WAY. EH IS ME YUH HA STRENGTH ON?"

 

Her final words:

 

"YUH GO MISS ME, OUI. YUH LOOK LIKE AH DRY OCHRO STICK!"

 

Just then ah big political meeting was taking place. All KINDA WASH YUH FOOT AND COME were assembled. Two rotten eggs whizzed by. Ah BAWLED OUT. RUCTION IN DE PLACE! If that continued it was BYE BYE BLAKEY for me. LAWD, IT WAS FIRE IN THE CONGO!

But the politician kept using some big HENGGIBBIT words like he SWALLOWED AH DICTIONARY.

An OLE RUMBO from Marshall's rumshop looked at him and shouted, "PREACH IT, BRUDDAH!  PREACH IT!  DAT IS NOT MAN TALKING DEY. DAT IS MAN PUPPA! Someone asked him if he was from BAHOE and showed him where the church was.

Sometimes, when we were going through the door, we looked back and remarked, "Ah coming eh." We are coming when we are going.

Ah held on to me GAL and went inside the house.  Me friends got vex and asked me if AH HA BUD IN CAGE.

Man, if yuh see me, BREEZE CYAN PASS.

 

Who ah BOUNCED UP when ah came outside, but FADDAH PRIEST.  He told me that he was shocked that AH LEGGO AH BIG ONE in church so close to the pulpit.  He told me if that continued, he GO GEE me something to CORK ME.

Then ah made up me mind that no one would catch me with dem little tricks they tried on me. Vero caught me once.  She made ah fist wid she hand and told me to pinch the spot by the pinky finger. When I did she laughed, 

 

"AH HA! YUH PINCHED FOWL BAM BAM"

 

DAT BUGGA!

Anthony Wendell DeRiggs



"the time is always ripe to do right", Nelson Mandela.
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Citizen Eve
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Quote Citizen Eve Replybullet Posted: 10 Apr 2011 at 4:08pm

... Via my friend Sandra F ... Note size of font to make easy for the older folks!!

Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all that you remember, not the ones you were told about.

Ratings at the bottom.


1). Candy cigarettes, Kaiser ball, chili bibbi and mango chow, tippy tambo, snatty nose dongs, gru-gru beff, padu.


2).
 The parlor at the corner and the shop on the main road.

3).
 Storming fete.

4).
 Only 1 telephone on the whole street.
5).   Newsreels before the movie, and the boys lime was in PIT (25 cents)and they would exit the side door and the cute girls would lime in HOUSE(50cents),  and there was always a lady selling nuts and dinner mints on the steps outside.

6).  TV - Ricky-Ticky-Tarvey was the hardest children show.  The lime was at somebody's house and all the children in the area would be sitting on the floor enjoying the show - 1 TV Channel  -TTT... , and only one or two TVs

in the whole neighbourhood.

7).
 Sling shot, and the big game for the boys was 'police and teef' and gun and caps was the GUN of the times but "yuh muss only fall down and play dead"

8).
  Latrine, WC, Outhouse.  Those who had toilet had a water tank high above your head with a long chain to pull to flush.  

9).
  78, 33 and 45 RPM was the records and a Gramophone or Turntable to play your records.

10).
   Hops bread, butter bread,  rock cake, pallet, halle and a big snow cone without a cup.

11).
   Metal ice trays with a lever.  

12).
   Pitch Oil Flambeau and torch light with a Blue flashbulb - 2 cell using 2 batteries
and a Green flashbulb - 3 cell using 3 batteries.

13).
 Playing marbles and hop scotch in the yard.  A big rope hanging from the tree with a piece of wood for the seat to swing with.

14).
 The fish man would ride by every day on his bike with a horn on the bike handle squeezing and BAWLING  - 'Careet, Munshine and Cavallie'.  A box full of fish on ice at the back.  He had a scale, Guardian newspaper to wrap up the fish and a chopper to chop it up...   The man knew everybody in the area by name and their choice of fish.

15).
  Scrubbing Board or Jooking Board, blue soap  and Tide, and mummy must bleach the clothes on some special stones at the back of the yard (Don't run on those stones - mummy would act like they are sacred) or, she had daddy build a bleach with wood and wire to lay out all the whites already washed in blue.  Water at the stand pipe.

16).
  Boys raiding people's mango tree, plum tree, guava tree and any fruit tree at night and scaling fence.  Next morning the poor tree is bare.
17).   Every body had to be Uncle or Auntie and yuh better say Good Morning to everybody before they tell on you, or is LICKS.  "Yuh Rude"

18).
  Getting a 'CUFF IN YUH MOUTH  or a CLOUT IN YUH HEAD' for answering back, watching CUT EYE or WALKING OFF when Mummy speak to you.

19).
  POSEY or TENSIL to pee in at night and no body want to empty it or wash it.  Don't let mummy smell it because is LICKS IN YUH TAIL.

20).  And you had to drink your BUSH TEA, and take Senna Pod tea,

your SALTS, CASTOR OIL, worm out or else...  



If you remembered 0 to 3:    You're still young
If you remembered 3 to 6:          You are getting older
If you remembered 7 to 15:     Don't tell your age,

If you remembered ALL =  
You might be older than 'rock of ages' but those memories should be some of the best days of your life.

Don't you agree?
Share with your
 
LONG TIME  
friends....          


     Trini forever!!!!!


 


"the time is always ripe to do right", Nelson Mandela.
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Citizen Eve
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Quote Citizen Eve Replybullet Posted: 10 Apr 2011 at 4:14pm

... oh ... Know that you are welcome and encouraged to contribute to this thread ... The more ... the merrier ...
"the time is always ripe to do right", Nelson Mandela.
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vutjebal
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Quote vutjebal Replybullet Posted: 30 July 2011 at 6:49pm
I was trying.....but needed the ReadingSilly
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.
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ilam96
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Quote ilam96 Replybullet Posted: 11 Nov 2011 at 9:36am
oh wow! i do remember those candy cigs....lmao...coooool
"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."
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