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Fun & Humor
 CaribbeanChoice : General Discussion : Fun & Humor
Message Icon Topic: Short jokes.......... Married humour Post Reply Post New Topic
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harmac
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Quote harmac Replybullet Topic: Short jokes.......... Married humour
    Posted: 05 Mar 2008 at 6:31am

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiry date."


 
Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes or no."

 
 
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."

Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"

Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can
 there be greater than this one?"

 

Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
troubles."

Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

 

Son: " Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap."


 
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my
 father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

 
 
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

 
 
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of
humor."


Edited by harmac - 05 Mar 2008 at 6:32am
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Citizen Eve
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Quote Citizen Eve Replybullet Posted: 06 Mar 2008 at 10:14am
Nice.
"the time is always ripe to do right", Nelson Mandela.
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Quote Abdiel Replybullet Posted: 06 Mar 2008 at 10:36pm
OMG divorceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
One world, one love, one song
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Quote p-lady Replybullet Posted: 06 Mar 2008 at 10:42pm
LOLMarried folk ARE funny!
I smile because I am your friend.
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Shucander
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Quote Shucander Replybullet Posted: 19 Apr 2008 at 1:43am
The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions
at the entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
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Shucander
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Quote Shucander Replybullet Posted: 19 Apr 2008 at 1:44am

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
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Shucander
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Quote Shucander Replybullet Posted: 19 Apr 2008 at 1:44am

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store
just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives who love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
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Shucander
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Quote Shucander Replybullet Posted: 19 Apr 2008 at 1:47am
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).
I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
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Shucander
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Quote Shucander Replybullet Posted: 19 Apr 2008 at 1:47am

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
- The Engagement Ring
- The Wedding Ring
- The Suffer-Ring
- The Endue-Ring

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
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Shucander
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Quote Shucander Replybullet Posted: 19 Apr 2008 at 1:48am
Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.
I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
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