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Message Icon Topic: DO CARIBBEAN MEN KNOW HOW TO BE FAITHFUL? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Moves
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Quote Moves Replybullet Posted: 15 Feb 2005 at 11:22am

Hello,

Everyone is an individual - you cannot put everyone in the same boat.  Yes I do believe that it all depends on the relationship between two people.  I have lived in Jamaica for over a year and I cant say that Everyman was playing about.  I think you know yourself whether your man is faithfull to you if you really think about it.

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Valerie

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Quote ilam96 Replybullet Posted: 18 Feb 2005 at 1:18pm

Originally posted by Scott

But the means it is very hard to tell the difference.  I mean, an innocent hug can be easily mistaken for something not so innocent.

Forget "interpretation" bro.....I'm talking INTENTION, before or after or even during (an act) there's no way of mistaking that - well maybe, slightly, very small margin of error tho

I mean, a person has got to be really dense in order for him/her not to notice when and IF someone's coming on to you



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Quote Scott Replybullet Posted: 19 Feb 2005 at 6:47pm

Well, I guess then you will mistake me hugging my female friends and relatives as coming on to them.

I agree some things are just plain obvious, but my point is that there are some people who are so sensitive that they think everything is cheating, even when it is not.  I remember one incident where a woman got so upset about her husband hugging another woman, that she slapped her man in public.  Later she found out that the person he was hugging was his cousin.  Another situation comes to mind where a woman paid thousands of dollars to hire a private investigator to catch her husband cheating only to find out that he really is at work working late.  I have a friend of mine who's husband is so jealous and insecure that she isn't allowed to work somewhere more than 6 months because he is afraid she is sleeping with someone.  After about 6 months, he always makes her quit and accuses her of sleeping with someone, even though she is not.  Supposedly I even slept with her, which I know for a FACT isn't true.

Some people are so insecure and jealous they see every innocent act as cheating when its not.  And I have seen a lot of people misinterpret other people's intentions and actions.  I see it all the time, especially when there is little communication.

Like I said before, some things are obvious, but other than those things, it is almost impossible to know what someone's intentions are... unless you can read their minds.

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Quote ilam96 Replybullet Posted: 22 Feb 2005 at 8:52am

Originally posted by Scott

Well, I guess then you will mistake me hugging my female friends and relatives as coming on to them.

Honey, when it comes to my man, I will know most (if not all) of his relatives - those that matter anyway.

I agree some things are just plain obvious, but my point is that there are some people who are so sensitive that they think everything is cheating, even when it is not.
 

I must agree that there are extremes, then there are EXTREMES...but everything else in between should - notice i said should - fall within the norms and within those norms, there is reasonably acceptable behaviour; a few of which you have so graciously identified in the poll you started  

I remember one incident where a woman got so upset about her husband hugging another woman, that she slapped her man in public. Later she found out that the person he was hugging was his cousin.

Again, we're dealing with EXTREMES...

Another situation comes to mind where a woman paid thousands of dollars to hire a private investigator to catch her husband cheating only to find out that he really is at work working late.

Good for her!!!!

I have a friend of mine who's husband is so jealous and insecure that she isn't allowed to work somewhere more than 6 months because he is afraid she is sleeping with someone.  After about 6 months, he always makes her quit and accuses her of sleeping with someone, even though she is not.

More extremes, but with a wikid twist...(and this is not it) when it pertains to insecurity and jealousy they are on a realm of their own and would require I believe a whole forum for them alone  

Supposedly I even slept with her, which I know for a FACT isn't true.

Ok then ........

Some people are so insecure and jealous they see every innocent act as cheating when its not.  And I have seen a lot of people misinterpret other people's intentions and actions.  I see it all the time, especially when there is little communication.

The interesting part is the communication part...now that is the fertilizer in any relationship. Love is the sun and respect is water...without either one, like a living thing, a relationship will not survive.

Like I said before, some things are obvious, but other than those things, it is almost impossible to know what someone's intentions are... unless you can read their minds.

And here is where the communication part comes into play, to help you to get to know your partner so well, that its like you learn to read their minds as well, hehe

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Quote Scott Replybullet Posted: 23 Feb 2005 at 11:14pm

Unfortunately there are more extremes in the world that you realize.

But I agree totally that the more you get to know someone, the better.  Communication is key.  If you know someone well, you can usually tell something is off.  But the biggest danger is making assumptions.  I have seen so many people make assumptions that were totally wrong and I have made assumptions that were totally wrong before.  I'm just saying, before you assume someone is cheating, get the facts.  Talk is cheap.  Assumptions are abundant.  It's easy to misinterpret things.

And always remember, when you assume, you make a donkey* out of you and me (*kid-friendly version).  (I so wish I could say the real quote, but since this is a family friendly website... adults should be able to figure it out by looking at the word assume.)

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Quote Leones Replybullet Posted: 07 July 2005 at 1:36am
Ladies I have news for you. I wouldn't venture to say most, but a lot of guys are not faithful, especially young guys. These men are not faithful because of one thing, and that one thing is testosterone. You ladies have no idea how powerful a force testosterone is. This forum is about Carribean men, but carribean men are no worse than American men, or Asian men, or African Men, or men 50 years ago or men throughout history, or men 50 years from now. The desire to be with women sexually has driven men to be unfaithful for as long as we human beings have been around. It is a characteristic that is present among men despite culture, race, geographical location or any other group you want to name (except age as circulating levels of teststerone decline as you get older which coincidently coincides with most men's willingness and desire to marry settle down and have a family). Women are always complaining that they can't find a "good man" because most women are not into being with a lot of different men. Most women just want one man who will treat them right and take care of them who they vibe with sexually. Men don't think that way. Sure men want a woman to treat them right and take care of the them, someone they can love and that sort of thing, but the drive to be with her sexually is always present and in the front of his mind. And men are very rational and straight forward creatures. In a man's mind if one woman is good then two women are twice as good, especially in matters of sex. Some of you out there may be angered by my comments or find them sexist or outdated but what I am saying is undoubtedly true. I'm not going to sit here and say that men's behaviors are not also due to our environement and social constraints as well but the majority of our behavior is innate.     
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Quote Duck Sauce Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 6:15pm

I'm not sure if men and women were meant to be sexually monagamous.  Too many people cheating, divorcing, sleeping around, etc.  I think that emotionally we may latch onto one person whom we love, but love has nothing to do with sex.  I think that it is an unrealizstic expectation that your partner be faithful, and it is unnatural.  After all, all men and women who are not supressed, look at other men and women, even if they restrain themselves from taking action.

I think God created sex as a biological function that humans are programmed to do.  We are automatically attracted to fertile members of the opposite sex, in addition to be attracted to someone we are in love with.  I think if God didn't make it that way, we would have dies out a long time ago.  I mean, think about it.  If we didn't have the hormones and built in desire to have sex, would we?  Probably not as much as we do now.  After all, there is the kids, the commitment, the risk of disease, the awkwardness of initiating sex for someone new at it.  We'd be doomed as a species if we didn't automatically feel attraction for members of the opposite sex who are fertile.

"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski
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Quote ilam96 Replybullet Posted: 02 Aug 2005 at 6:53pm
Originally posted by Duck Sauce

I think if God didn't make it that way

do you really think God would make it that way after giving us free will?????

"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."
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Quote Duck Sauce Replybullet Posted: 03 Aug 2005 at 8:59pm
Originally posted by ilam96

Originally posted by Duck Sauce

I think if God didn't make it that way

do you really think God would make it that way after giving us free will?????

Actually, it is because of free will that He also had to put in the natural sexual desire to reproduce.  We still have free will, just our instincts make us more interested in reproducing than we would otherwise be.

I'm not saying that the natural desire to reproduce (i.e. have sex) overrides free will, I'm just saying that without it we probably wouldn't do it at all.  Especially in this day and age with divorce, custody battles, child support, paying for the kids college, diapers, fights with the wife, fights with the ex, fights with the mother-in-law, sexually transmitted diseases, the cold shoulder, "I have a headache," etc.

It's no wonder more and more young people are NOT getting married anymore.  They may live together, but less and less are tying the knot and getting married.  This upcoming generation has seen how ugly marriage can be (50% of all marriages end in divorce, and usually a nasty one at that), so they are simply not getting married.

Of course, one interesting side effect of people not getting married is that the divorce rate of those who do is going down.

"One person can make a difference, one person can change the world, but you must choose to do so. You must make the future or others will make it for you." -J. Michael Straczynski
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Quote ilam96 Replybullet Posted: 05 Aug 2005 at 11:31am

it wasn't what i was getting at, but you are right, tho i wouldn't say 'reproduce'...its more like copulating...after all reproduction bring forth all the "divorce, custody battles, child support, paying for the kids college, diapers, fights with the wife, fights with the ex, fights with the mother-in-law, sexually transmitted diseases, the cold shoulder, "I have a headache," etc."

whereas copulation just brings forth sexual gratification/satisfaction....but still, what i was getting at, is that it couldn't be God that made it that way, when he already gave us free will...even without attraction to the opposite sex, man was still made to reproduce...

"I cried because I had no shoe, until I met a man with no feet."
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